Knowing When to Lead and When to Relate

I traveled to Scotland in 2008 to visit missionaries and preach at a Sunday worship service. On our return flight from Scotland, the flight attendants were still serving snacks in a frenzied manner as we began our initial descent into NY. I asked one of them why they were in such a rush. It turns out the pilots had played a joke and told the flight attendants we would be an hour late, when we actually were almost an hour early. The flight attendants were literally running down the aisles picking up trash and securing items in order to prepare for landing (they even threw the bags of trash onto the bathroom floor!). They sat down to land within 30 seconds of landing. It was extremely funny because I knew what had happened, but I wonder how it was viewed by the other 200 passengers unaware of the joke. The other passengers probably thought the flight crew was extremely inefficient and unprofessional.

It got me to thinking about leadership. It's important for leaders to relate to their employees and volunteers. This should include many moments of laughter with one another that build relationships. However, leadership involves timing. Just as leaders need to make right decisions at the right time; good leaders know when it's time to relate and when it's time to lead. These pilots didn't understand the law of timing. There are moments that require leaders to lead in a transcendent way:

• When it involves mission – jokes would have been fine over lunch, but the crew should be committed to its mission (making the flight safe, enjoyable, and efficient).
• When it affects another person's performance – the passengers unaware of the joke simply thought the flight attendants did a poor job of planning.
• When it reflects poorly on the organization – the displeased passengers will remember one thing – the airline seemed disorganized!

The real problem is that view of the flight attendants is not accurate. These flight attendants were great! They handled some unruly passengers with professionalism and even handled a minor medical emergency with great compassion. It makes me wonder about my own leadership – do I lead and relate well? Am I intentional about timing my relationship and leadership moments to maximize my employees/volunteers potential for the good of the organization?

What are your thoughts?

What I've Learned from my Co-Workers at Mount Paran North--James Byrd

James Byrd is celebrating 10 years at Mount Paran North today! Pastor Byrd has served the Church of God denomination in so many capacities as pastor, evangelist, state/regional youth and discipleship director, administrative pastor and middle/senior adults pastor. In addition to that, he also served as a missions director at Haggai Institute for 7 years. JB is one of the wisest men that I have ever met and had the privilege to serve with. Though we never had an official mentoring relationship, he indeed is one of the mentors that I strive to emulate in servant leadership.

The greatest lesson I learned from James Byrd is to develop the art of listening to others and measuring my words. If you need an ear, you can be sure that Pastor Byrd will listen with full attention to what you are saying. This seems to be a lost art today because people are so preoccupied with multitasking that they miss the treasure of the moments we spend together. JB seems to be able to tune out everything else and focus only on the person he is engaged in conversation with. Because of his ability to listen, James Byrd can offer better advice and wisdom because he has actually heard and understood the other person and what they are facing in life.

Pastor Byrd also measures his words more than any person I have ever met. I often found myself interrupting Pastor Byrd when I thought he was finished speaking, but he was still measuring his words--this makes for awkward moments in conversation. Because he carefully thinks through every word before he speaks, the message he communicates is crystal clear. You do not walk away from a conversation with JB with misunderstanding. He communicates carefully and his clear messages are seasoned with grace.

James Byrd is the epitome and fulfillment of the scripture that says, "Be quick to listen and slow to speak." Thanks to my friend and mentor for teaching me invaluable lessons in leadership!

What I've Learned from my Co-Workers at Mount Paran North--David Lewis

David has been at North for over 18 years and has served in almost every conceivable ministry role. It is difficult to imagine a person having that much success in that many areas of ministry, and yet David has been very successful and highly consistent. He is the ultimate utility player--much like the guy you love to hate in baseball that switch-hits and plays every position well.

Though that is impressive in its own right, David's greatest trait is that he is one of the most loyal friends and colleagues a person can have. Now don't get me wrong--David is not afraid to speak his mind nor question established systems or ministries in leadership meetings. However, when the meeting is over and the decision is made, David supports the decision with his words and actions. If you weren't in the meeting, you would never know whether David was for or against the decision because his loyalty runs deeper than any personal agenda.

Because of this, I know that whatever I entrust to David from a working relationship to a personal friendship is safe. I hope and strive to be that kind of friend, leader, and co-worker where my loyalty can never be questioned. Thanks David for the 51/2 years of friendship and ministry we shared at North.

What I've Learned From my Co-Workers at Mount Paran North--Mark Walker

Dr. Mark Walker came to Mount Paran North in August of 1992 and serves as Senior Pastor. Mark is also a sought-after speaker for church conferences and serves as an adjunct professor at Southeastern University.

The most important thing I have observed in Mark is that his confidence in who he is in Christ enables him to look for the most talented people to come along side him in ministry. I have met a lot of talented leaders who say they would love to have good people to help them with their ministry or organization. The problem is they are so insecure in themselves, which prohibits them from hiring anyone they feel that may be better than them. Not so with Pastor Mark—he truly wants people that are extremely good in the areas that he is not. That has enabled him to surround himself with talented people who are loyal to him and Mount Paran North and exponentially increases his capacity to lead well and pursue the God-given vision he has for North.

Mark is one of the most gifted leaders I have been associated with and he reminds me that my security is in Christ. When I remember this, I open my life up to really talented people that God will send to help fulfill the vision.

What I've Learned From my Co-Workers at Mount Paran North--Cindy Hunnicutt

Cindy Hunnicutt came to Mount Paran North in January of 2008 and serves as the Director of Children’s Ministry. She is also founder and director of SquarePeg Ministries that reaches out to underprivileged children in the Atlanta area.

The most important thing I have observed in Cindy is to completely pour your life into the calling God has given you. If you are around Cindy for any amount of time, you realize that she lives, breathes and eats Children’s ministry. I once asked Cindy what type of music she liked to listen to. She responded, “children’s praise and worship music, of course.” The only other thing that matters to Cindy is her husband, Darrell, and her children (including their spouses) and grandchildren. This is the core of who she is. She is a devoted follower of Christ who has sold out to God’s calling as a minister, mother and grandmother. She is not enamored with little side issues that seem to distract others. Maybe this is why Cindy has been selected as president of a major children’s ministry more than once and is a much sought-after speaker and trainer at many children’s conferences.

Now Cindy can light up a room with her personality and seems comfortable in any situation. The reason is that she is comfortable in who she is in Christ and what God has called her to do. Thanks to Cindy for reminding me what a life of priority looks like in the busy world.

What I've Learned from my Co-Workers at Mount Paran North--Jason Duncan

Jason Duncan came to Mount Paran North in August of 2010 and serves as the Director of Worship and Arts.

The most important thing I have observed in Jason is that talent is no substitute for a life of complete and total dependence upon God, who is the giver of every good gift that we have. Make no mistake about it—Jason is a tremendously talented man with an incredible voice and a personality that people cannot help but like. However, when Jason leads a group of 12 or a congregation of 1,500 in worship, it is apparent that he has spent just as much time “with the Father” as he has in preparation and practice. To put it simply—Jason is comfortable in the presence of God and makes those he leads in worship want to follow him and engage the presence of God in the worship service and in their lives.

Jason has an “aw-shucks” personality and is extremely humble, but he is a man that runs deep with God. I have thoroughly enjoyed the short time I have worked with him. Thanks to Jason for reminding me that my talents are on loan from God and my responsibility is to always strive to improve the gifts without neglecting the Giver of gifts.

Lessons I've Learned from my Co-Workers at Mount Paran North--Brett Mayes

Brett Mayes has been the Director of Discipleship for Mount Paran North since October of 2008. Brett recently added Missions to his portfolio and is now the Director of Missions and Discipleship.

The most important thing I have learned from Brett is that excitement and enthusiasm are not directly opposed to process. Some people mistakenly believe that some lead through excitement and charisma while others lead through process. Brett Mayes disproves this theory. Brett is a very charismatic leader who is passionate about the Great Commission in the local church and across the globe. However, Brett is one of the most methodical thinkers I have ever met. Before Brett came to North, we had attempted small groups with miserable results. Brett brought a few key leaders on board and started small group ministry (Life Groups) with a few test groups. Once we knew that people were excited about the small groups and growing closer to Christ, we let them tell the successes of small groups to North through testimonials and video. Now the discipleship/connection percentage of North has increased from just under 20% to 40%.

Brett has challenged me to think strategically through process while maintaining my enthusiasm for the vision God gives me. There are a lot of great visions that pastors have shared with their churches that fall flat on their face because they have no strategy of implementation. Not so with Brett—he understands the importance of integrating passion for the vision with strategies of implementation that benefit the church.

Thanks to Brett for the lesson I have observed and learned from working with you.

What I Learned from my Co-Workers at Mount Paran North--Jeremy Isaacs

Jeremy Isaacs has been our Director of Student Ministries and Next Gen Ministries for the past 4 1/2 years. He and Corrie will soon be opening the new campus of Mount Paran North in Canton, GA in January of 2012. Jeremy is a dynamic leader who has many gifts of preaching, teaching and a great musician—just to name a few. He also has the gift of “gab”. Jeremy could talk his way in and out of any situation needed. Had he not surrendered to the call of ministry, he could very well have been a Senator—and I mean that as a compliment!

The most important thing I have learned from Jeremy is that I do not need to be the originator of an idea in order for it to be a success. Jeremy is one of the most well-read persons I know. His depth and breadth of readings from books to blogs opens his life up to many thought-provoking and inspirational ideas that benefit him and the teams he works with.

Jeremy has challenged me to read blogs from folks I don’t necessarily agree with or people whose ministry context seems so different from mine. In doing so, I can become a better, more well-versed leader that benefits from the successes and failures of others. This helps me to grow without experiencing the painful lessons that I might otherwise have encountered.

Thanks to Jeremy for the lesson I have observed and learned from working with you. I know whenever I call you, I never have to worry about carrying the conversation.

Why We Are Leaving Mount Paran North

By now, the word is getting out that Laura and I, along with Bradley and Lauren, will be leaving Mount Paran North soon. A letter was sent recently regarding our recent appointment as Senior Pastor of Canton Temple of Praise in Canton, OH—a congregation of 400+ that has a rich history and an even brighter future. However, I wanted to take this opportunity to more fully answer any lingering questions regarding our future.

First, we are leaving because we have felt for some time that God was about to change our ministry and take us back into the role of Senior Pastor. Before coming to North, we had the privilege of serving as Senior Pastor in a suburb of Jackson, MS for 5 years. Even when we came to North, we had a sense that one day God would lead us back into the role of Senior Pastor—we just had no idea of when that would be.

Secondly, I love to preach. To be able to stand before a group of people on Sunday morning and preach/teach the Word of God is a privilege that I cannot even describe. I desperately long to once again preach on Sundays to a congregation that God has called us to lead. I would like to take this opportunity to thank Dr. Mark Walker for allowing me the chance to preach to the wonderful people of Mount Paran North on a regular basis—more so than he has ever done. It is something that I will always treasure.

Thirdly, I desire to lead a church again in the role that only a Senior Pastor can lead. Pastor Mark has trusted me with leadership roles and authority at North in unprecedented ways, and yet the role I believe God has designed for Laura and me is that of Senior Pastor.

Just to make sure there is no misunderstanding, I want to make clear that we are not leaving because we are unhappy or disenchanted. I consider the 5½ years spent at Mount Paran North some of the greatest in my life. I have enjoyed the privilege of working with a great leader and even better friend in Mark Walker. I have worked with some of the brightest minds and kingdom hearts in the pastors and people of North. We are leaving because we believe that God is calling us to leave. If God is calling us to leave, then we believe that something great awaits us. If we know that God is asking us to follow His calling, then we simply must obey. How could I ever stand up and teach with any integrity that people should trust and follow God if I will not do so?

Laura and I love the people of Mount Paran North so much and consider you part of our family. We leave with a strange mixture of excitement, sadness and hope for the futures of both Canton Temple and Mount Paran North. We will not be strangers and hope to visit with you in the future. We pray nothing but God’s blessings upon North and believe that great things are in the future for you.

Pastor Kirk